It's Just Pity
by HazeLilyBluera
Summary: A quick sad one shot of Severus and Lily. From Harry Potter *set in marauder era, fifth year… before sev calls lily a mudblood* Warning: Sad


"Lily, I don't understand how you stand up for Snape each day! What do you see in him?" Mary MacDonald asked her best friend, Lily Evans. " _Severus_ is abused by his drunk father! And do you see what he has in his closet? What about how much he eats and how skinny he is? Severus is someone who deserves love and affection, I'm sure he'll find someone who he can love."

Severus Snape was watching Lily from behind a stone statue, eager to find out what Lily really thought of him. "Sev is sweet, once you get to know him. He's just shy," Lily rambled on. "Why do you despise him so much?"

"Don't act like you don't know what he calls all Muggle-borns. The looks he gives us each day," huffed Mary.

"Sev doesn't call me a Mudblood," Lily defended her black-haired friend. Severus smiled. He loved Lily, with her long red hair in waves and her beautiful emerald green eyes that always shone with happiness no matter what. Lily was his light; the reason why he had to live on. Not only beautiful, Lily had a kind heart and saw the beauty in others that no one else might have.

"That's only because you're special," huffed Mary.

"So that proves that he can have warmth inside of him," stated Lily. "Bet he would do almost anything for me, so _there,_ he cares for me. He has a heart, if he didn't, then he wouldn't be alive."

Severus snorted back a giggle. Lily's words were funny but they had a meaning to them.

Instead of arguing back though, Mary paused and thought, an unreadable expression on her face. "Do you love him?" she said hesitantly.

Severus's heart jumped with excitement. He gripped his bag tighter and his pulse beat faster.

Lily turned as red as her hair. "No, of course not!" she cried. Severus's hopeful face fell. He had been so hopeful for her to say he did, or at least, she loved him as a friend. Maybe if she truly did love him she wouldn't have admitted it to Mary. Yes, he decided, she was lying through her teeth, she probably loved him so she didn't want to admit it.

"So, you pity him?" said Mary.

"I guess so, but he's also my friend." Lily looked around nervously, hoping none of Sev's friends or himself was nearby.

Pity?! PITY?! Severus raged. But there was still a chance she loved him and just used pity as an excuse. Yeah, that might be it. But Severus didn't want anyone pitying him, especially not Lily. He wanted Lily to love him and think him as a human, not some kind of hurt animal.

"Okay. Are you sure you don't love him?"

"YES!" Lily insisted, her cheeks a high color. "I just, I just, he's my friend because I pity him…"

As they walked back in the castle, Severus slumped to the ground, his back against the cold statue. She didn't care. She pitied him. _Severus, think positive!_ he told himself. Despite the cold weather and cold statue and the cold snow his boots and body was him, his face was warm in anger. He was cold inside too, cold about what she had said. Pity!

* * *

"So, it was just pity?! YOU BEFRIENDED ME FOR PITY?!" snapped Snape, his face contorted in rage.

"Severus, I don't know what you're-" began the ginger

"You know perfectly well of what I am talking about! I love you! You don't return my feelings, you just _pity_ me! You've broken my heart!" Severus yelled.

"Severus, I… that's not true!" Lily sobbed.

"You know damn well it is," snapped Severus. "Of course you broke my heart, of course my love is true. That stupid Gryffindor friend of yours made you confide the truth. I know what I'm speaking is veracity, all right? You don't have to lie again. You don't need to make excuses for me. I understand that you pity me, and I'm fucking FINE!"

He jerked away from her arm. The kids who were pretending to build snowmen were no longer trying; they watched in interest as the Gryffindor tried to tell the Slytherin her feelings.

"Severus!" she protested, raising a hand. "Please… I'm so sorry! I really like you, you're my friend, not someone I pity, I mean, I do feel bad for you and all, but I count you as my friend mostly! That's the reason why I made you my friend; not because of pity... but because of, I... Well, I, I mean, I like you for who you are! You are sweet and caring on the inside, I know you Severus!"

"STOP LYING LILY, AND GET IT OVER WITH!" he glowered. It was rare that he called her Lily. Usually he referred to her as her nickname, Lils, or only his 'Lily flower'. "I'M NOT ANGRY OKAY?"

"Severus, how can you not be angry? I would be angry at myself. Then what are you? Sev?"

"Don't call me that," he whispered, and turned away. "You're not my friend."

"Why? You can't consider Mulciber and Avery friends, Sev...erus! They just use you to get to the Dark side, please Sev, be sensible!"

"I told you not-to-call-me-THAT!" he snarled. "And don't you dare start on my _friends_ again."

His words stung her much worse than a hornet would have. If Severus didn't want her to call him his nickname, the one she had so fondly and lovingly given him; the one he had cherished so much with all his heart, that meant their friendship truly might be over.

"I'm so sorry Severus... I am so sorry for breaking your heart and making you angry."

"I said that I am not angry!"

"What are you?"

"I... I can't find words to describe it."

"Oh."

"OH?! THAT'S IT?! THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT FOR ME? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I LOVE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE MY LIFE SO MISERABLE, AND EVEN HARDER THAN IT WAS BEFORE?!"

She contracted in fear. "I… Severus. I-"

Before she could finish, he stormed away, sending snow showering her pink face that was already wet from tears, and many other innocent faces. "Severus. I, I was so afraid to admit this," she whispered. "But I love you too." Letting out a dry sob, she plopped her body in the snow. "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve his friendship and his love. I should be able to admit it openly just like he did."

She let out a deep sigh. "I love you Sev."


End file.
